dear karrie
Dear Chad,
I live under the belief that internet junk mail says a lot about someone's personality. Most junk mail targets specific sexes and interests. For example, a hip young girlfriend of mine often receives letters about breast enhancement, and CD of the week clubs. A keen young man I run with most often receives letters about making his woman squeal with sexual delight, and video game advertisements. I suppose this has something to do with the types of websites they visit, and the resulting profile that internet cookies compile.
I've been involved in the internet game as long as anyone, but the only junk mail I ever receive has to do with Christian mortgages/dating services, as well as penis enlargers. We all know that junk mail doesn't lie. The past few weeks have been difficult, Chad. I've had to accept myself for what I truly am -- a devout Catholic with a tiny penis.
P.S. My pet raven died and I'm devastated. Any thoughts on dealing with flighted friend's loss?
Curious in Koreatown (Karrie)
dear karrie,
indeed junk mail does not lie. i myself never receive any because, really what do you get a man who has everything? you have taken the first step towards recuperation and living a normal life by admitting that you are in fact a catholic with a tiny penis. for advice on how to proceed, i'm afraid i may not be your man. i have taken the liberty of forwarding your letter on to marc ripper and he should be able to help you from here.
as for your pet raven. shit happens.
I live under the belief that internet junk mail says a lot about someone's personality. Most junk mail targets specific sexes and interests. For example, a hip young girlfriend of mine often receives letters about breast enhancement, and CD of the week clubs. A keen young man I run with most often receives letters about making his woman squeal with sexual delight, and video game advertisements. I suppose this has something to do with the types of websites they visit, and the resulting profile that internet cookies compile.
I've been involved in the internet game as long as anyone, but the only junk mail I ever receive has to do with Christian mortgages/dating services, as well as penis enlargers. We all know that junk mail doesn't lie. The past few weeks have been difficult, Chad. I've had to accept myself for what I truly am -- a devout Catholic with a tiny penis.
P.S. My pet raven died and I'm devastated. Any thoughts on dealing with flighted friend's loss?
Curious in Koreatown (Karrie)
dear karrie,
indeed junk mail does not lie. i myself never receive any because, really what do you get a man who has everything? you have taken the first step towards recuperation and living a normal life by admitting that you are in fact a catholic with a tiny penis. for advice on how to proceed, i'm afraid i may not be your man. i have taken the liberty of forwarding your letter on to marc ripper and he should be able to help you from here.
as for your pet raven. shit happens.
posted by Chad Hartigan at 3:31 PM
2 Comments:
As for the raven: I think you should try capturing a new one by baiting it with the remains of the old one.
Honestly, who keeps a raven as a pet anymore? I mean, sure, I can remember a time when we were all in high school and it seemed as though everyone had a raven. Hell, when that whole goth craze kicked in in the mid 1990s I screwed a coupla chicks named Raven. But get with the times, Crouse, you end up looking like some Hayner-esque character who can't move on. I say get yerself a skillet and bake me a black bird in a pie. Sheesh, ravens.
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